As predicted, I’ve crashed after my run of a nice high. It started to happen about 10 days ago, it wasn’t too bad at first but now… now I’ve really hit rock bottom and I’m struggling.

I was warned that it will be bad due to the length of the high and the doc sure wasn’t kidding…

Today was the first day in ages that I felt like crying…

Why?

I guess in one sense I’m just feeling sorry for myself but it is more than that. It’s the knowing that I’m going to have to go through this for the rest of my life… I’ve said it before but it just makes life so difficult.

There is just no escape…

It’s a monumental effort just to get out of bed at the moment and I’m really hating it…

Thinking back to how I was only two weeks ago is sickening, yes I was riding a high so in a way it was a false illusion of life but still… to go from there to here… it really is crushing…