It’s been a while…

 

I’m just enjoying a high that has rolled on to it’s fifth / sixth week now… enjoying it because I am sleeping well and it is under control… it’s manageable…

 

It makes life good… it also makes life interesting… I had a total euphoric experience when I first started to switch that was like nothing I had experienced before…

 

It felt like every ounce of my being was alive, I was simply watching a TV show but it felt like I was on a rollercoaster experiencing the high extremes… it is so hard to describe what it was like but it was fun… until I couldn’t sleep that night… but after that I settled into a manageable experience…

 

I think that it helps that I am a lot more at peace with myself.

 

Yeah, I’ve still got a lot of hard work to do and my outlook may change when I inevitably crash but at the moment all is good… there are issues that could be causing my stress but I am just not letting it happen…

 

So I’ll take that.

 

I was at the hospital last week and it was mainly preparing me for the next mood shift which will be a crash – I’ll eventually burn out of the “good” chemicals and the fight will be on.

 

It sucks that I have no control over how and when it happens but I am used to this now…

 

I’ve been given an extra 100mg of Quetiapine XL for when the crash occurs to see how that regulates it. Apparently with the Bipolar Depression people react well to either 300mg or 600mg so we are doing a test run of 600mg when I crash to see how it goes but at the moment I am sticking to the current dose of 500mg.

 

We also spoke about trying to flatten out the extremes of the mood phases – note eurphoric experience – and by that I mean that yeah, I’ll always get the “phases” but the goal is to lesson/flatten them… Doctor S. is considering adding a “lil” of another medication to assist with this but that isn’t on the horizon yet and it’s only if the extra 100mg doesn’t work…

 

So we’ll see how it goes…