I’ve gone hyper. It normally happens after a difficult crash so it was kinda expected…

I’m talking more even if I’m talking crap, I’m very restless but the world feels good again and I’ve got the whisperings of “change.”

Change? Change what? God knows but it’s part of the mania. I feel like I need a change…

The trouble with that though is that I’m quite settled so change can jog on… I’ve just got to ignore the urges.

I don’t know if I am thinking with clarity or thinking with mania but a subject matter that was hammering me from the start of the year has been well and truly put to bed, it was the last thing I expected to happen – this to have a good resolution but it has – and now it is like a weight has been lifted from me.

Sometimes what you think is good for you… actually isn’t… it just takes a long time to realise this…

I’m really controlling my sleep at the moment, it’s a case of having to so fortunately there is no exhaustion yet. Even if it means I am in bed, medicated by 20:30 and asleep, I’ve got to. I can’t get on a roll of sleepless nights as that just leads one way… It’s a battle as the last thing my body wants to do is sleep…

I’m watching what I eat, I’m back at the gym, I’m trying to do everything that I can to help with the mood phases… it just becomes hardwork when it is so full-on but you got to do what you got to do to survive.

Money is a big issue at the moment but fortunately with the mood, it is not really effecting me as in bringing me down… though with the mania every day is an urge to spend… spend what? I’m broke but again, it’s still an urge that I need to resist.

I need work to be busy when I am like this, keep me occupied but unfortunately, August is one of our quietest months so a days work feels like 20 hours+, at home I would always have something to keep me occupied, even if it was only for  5 minutes then I would switch to another subject matter to pass more time… at work you’re stuck on one subject matter and how busy I am is out of my hands so that is why it drags whilst hyper.

So yeah, this is where I am at currently, considering how difficult it has been lately, I’ll take a hyper phase…