Once I fell asleep it wasn’t too bad, I think I was exhausted from all the tears, it just took a while to get to sleep, I got a total of maybe 7 1/2 hours in the end.
It’s nice in a way to get more sleep than late… actually I would say on any other circumstance it’s heaven but unfortunately I just don’t feel like doing anything or wanting to do anything so the extra sleep is wasted.
Alas, today I need to go to the doctors for an update, get more meds and just see where I am at.
I need to shave, I just cannot be bothered but I do get a shower and head off. It was pretty standard, there is nothing much more they can do for me at the minute until I get to the CMHT… 19/01/2017… it cannot come soon enough.
They keep me on the 60mg dose of Fluoxetine and I get another 7 days of sleeping tablets, much needed, as mentioned sleep is a big trigger.
My overall mood is very flat, I am nowhere near as emotional as I was last night which is good news in a way but I am sitting right on the edge, anything could set me off. My good friend is coming over later on in the night so that will help, it’ll be good to talk.
I spend much of the day bunkered down trying not to get consumed by the negative, irrational thoughts, it’s impossible to keep them at bay and I find myself continuously chewing over the same old shit… shit I cannot escape from… it is frustrating that I cannot escape…
I would love to do something but when feeling this flat it’s practicually impossible…
My battle with Bipolar 