I’m writing this during the day of the 16/01/2017…

My weekend was a blur…

14/01/2017

I had such a vivid dream on the 14/01/2017 that I had to text my mate to ask if it was real or if I had imagined it…

When I am like this, everything just merges together.

I do not sleep, I am lucky to get more than a couple of hours sleep at a time… it’s so restless…

I’ve fully hit Zombie Mode… I want to do everything but my body feels broken…

Brain = energy, body = dead…

Saturday I slept fitfully all day, I hadn’t planned anything for the weekend as I knew I would need a recovery weekend… it didn’t really help. I wanted to do everything and nothing… I needed to recharge but that was the last thing I wanted to do…

I was still upset from the day before though it wasn’t as bad… I was ignoring it in a way I guess, like I can do sometimes when like this… Or maybe my brain was racing too fast to lock down on any specific thoughts…

15/01/2017

I can remember watching a full film from 02:00 – 03:45, sleep came around 05:00 for a couple of hours…

Sunday was much of the same, throw in my irrationally trying out the gym too, my brain won out over common sense, I went to the gym, shopped, cleaned all by 11:30am, I got a shower and my body returned to zombie… I had exhausted myself too much, the rest of the day a blur…

I really cannot pick anything out of consequence that happened…

I was trapped in chewing myself up when I could think… Tomorrow – which is now today – will be my first day at work without my Light… I really did dread it and felt sick just thinking about it… I knew it really wouldn’t set in until I was actually facing the day…

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