It didn’t really matter what type of mood I was in today… it was always going to be a bad day all things considering…
I hardly slept, too much racing through the brain to turn off…
I still feel awake and alert though my body is seriously hitting zombie mode now, awake for hours on end…
You know when things just do not go to plan… well that was how Friday started, especially with the lack of sleep then the snow messing up all travel plans… kinda went from there…
I was just no good today, total Hyper mixed with a depressive situation, such a mixed state had me all over the place.
I’d be happy, then irrational and bite and want to argue, then upset and on the edge of breaking down… I lost count of how many times I had to hold back tears today or how many times I actually did cry… though I did try everything to keep it together.
The morning went by in a blur, I wasn’t too bad to be honest – considering the above – I expected to be much worse but I was able to work and function…
We had our final lunch together which was really nice but edged with emotion.
The closer it got to 17:00, the worse I got…
There was no way of avoiding the situation or ignoring it anymore, it was happening today…
By the time 17:00 came, work goodbyes had been said and the time came four our journey home for the final time, I was upset, there is no two ways about it. The worst thing that could happen was in the process of happening…
How do you say goodbye to an amazing person? Who is there for you day in, day out, I probably spend more time with this person than anyone else in my life… and they are leaving…
Once we had said our goodbyes, just getting to my house was difficult, I was pretty much devastated, the moment I walked through the door I just wanted to sob… I did…
Tonight was the first night I’ve drank at home in months… I just want to get drunk, fall asleep and forget the world…
I’m a f****** wreck…
My battle with Bipolar 