I’m hurting…
To be honest, I’m typing this whilst crying…
I feel lost and just do not know what to do anymore.
The second I think about the sorrow I feel I start to sob… nothing causing it, it’s just there…
Well then just do not think of it then you may say… sorry but it’s impossible, it’s consuming… all consuming…
I fully prepared myself to work today, bed at 21:00 the night before, not even to try and sleep but to just unwind before trying to sleep…
I don’t know what happened, I guess the moment I lowered the defences to relax and try and sleep the world rushed in and just tore me apart…
I had two sleeping tablets because I was getting nowhere and just fell fast asleep, woke up once but I had more than 8 hours sleep… A good start…
I guess it didn’t really matter, I knew I wasn’t fit for work but determined to try… no crying in the shower but I was set into the whirlwind early…
It didn’t matter how long I tried to hold it off, the tears came on the way to work, out in the world, feeling utterly worthless and insignificant… I broke…
I got to work and just wanted to sob… by the time I finished talking to the boss I was sobbing…
It’s desperation time, I just want to scream someone please help… I can’t go on like this…
None will be forthcoming until at least the 19th Jan…
…
I’m…
My battle with Bipolar 